Things about
newsroom slaves that bug this ex-serf:
Congratulations to
The Toronto Sun copy desk for writing on May 18, 2006, the headline “Terror
accused wants evidence” which is correct and not “accused terrorist” which is
not correct. The headline “accused rapist” convicts the accused before the
trial and is grossly inaccurate. Is there an agenda somewhere?
When
Ernest Hemingway wrote his classic For Whom the Bell Tolls in 1943 he and his editor(s)
had the title’s grammer (sic) correct. It’s “whom” – not “who.” But whoever
wrote the story headlined “Tories
launch probe to find who leaked audit info” for CTV’s web site on May 12, 2006,
had a glaring error in the text.
The
author wrote:
“Fraser
said she is ‘very upset’ by the leak, and has strong suspicions about who is
behind the act, but wouldn't reveal who she suspected.”
It
should be “whom (the object) she suspected.” An alternative could be “whomever
she suspected.”
CTV is a
television outfit. Pictures, not words and the grammer (sic), are important in
places such as where Ted Baxter used to work.
Hey CTV!
It’s like having black-and-white video that’s out of focus, like having an
anchor without makeup and hair not combed, like having no respect for the
viewers. It’s like your Danny Dipstick saying: “For Who the Bell Tolls.”
Is there
no budget for proper grammer (sic)?
* * *
News editors, if
you can call them “editors,” have taken to softening the news. It’s much like
the bureaucrat who edits the term “haste makes waste” to the softer and greyer
“precipitation entails the negation of economy.”
Beware the
editor-bureaucrat because he/she will eventually omit certain reports because
they are so . . . well . . . so unpleasant.
Ø
Dead soldiers
and policemen are now “fallen.”
Ø
Prostitutes
are now “sex-trade workers.” But the word “sex” is . . . so unpleasant and
demeaning. Why not describe them as “entrepreneurs d’amour?” Much more savory.
Ø
Dope peddlers:
Why are they not called “drug-trade pharmacists?” Perhaps the hooker lobby has
more pull in the newsroom than the mob.
Ø
Fishermen are
now “fishers,” according to the CBC. What about policers, firers, alderers,
craftsers and tradesers?
* * *
In a story headlined “MP in judges' furor quits post,” The
Toronto Star on May 11, 2006, said this about a Tory from Saskatoon:
“Vellacott's resignation came hours before he would have almost
certainly lost a vote of non-confidence as head of the aboriginal affairs
committee.”
The better way to write the line:
“Vellacott resigned hours before the aboriginal affairs committee would,
almost certainly, have passed a motion expressing no confidence in him as head
of the committee.”
But that would take time to polish the stuff between the ads. Time is
money. Reporters nowadays are too busy typing to polish.
* * *
The USA Today story
of April 27, 2006, which said this about a baseball game in Toronto:
“The duo
will try to help Toronto to its first three-game series sweep of the Baltimore
Orioles in more than 3 1/2 years when the teams finish their series at Rogers
Center.”
The correct name is
Rogers Centre, the Canadian spelling of centre. American newsrooms now are
awash in ignorance and arrogance. A professional copy desk knows that the
spelling of proper names – such as the Rogers Centre – are not changed to fit
local orthography.
* * *
Headline writers
who use the short word “gas” to mean gasoline – just because it fits. Gas is
the gaseous stuff that comes out when a person burps or out the other end when
teen-aged boys do “far-r-r-r-r-r-t” jokes. Gasoline is the liquid most people
pump into their gasoline-guzzler’s fuel tank. They are not synonymous.
* * *
A headline on the
CBS News web site on April 10, 2006, about the biker murders in Ontario. It
read “Grisly Canada Slays Tied To Bike Gang.” Them
boys and girls righten them heads uses the words “slays” probably to mean
murders. One murder, two murds; one
killing, two kills; one assassination,
two assassins. That kind of
headline writin’ just slays me. It are grisly.
* * *
Under the headline
“Rookie, vet join Grit race” on April 8, 2006, a Toronto Sun slave reports:
“TORONTO -- Michael Ignatieff ended months of speculation yesterday by
officially throwing his hat into the Liberal leadership race.” She gets it right
by saying “into,” but does one throw one’s hat into a race? Lisa,
darling, you may have been writing through your hat, perhaps because you penned
the copy at the drop of a hat, or someone had eaten said hat, that being
newsroom old hat and where one goes hat in hand to request an increase of
remuneration. But . . . but . . . but I
take my hat off to anyone who survives these days in the under-paid,
under-staffed reporter biz. But, sweetheart, blendering metaphors is blundering
. . . ouch and ugh!
* * *
An Associated Press
wire-service item datelined Los Angeles, and headlined “Funeral for LA deputy
shot to death in Long Beach,” in The Monterey Herald of April 4, 2006,
reported: “The news media (plural) was (singular) barred from the funeral, at
the family's request.” Them boys and girls on them their copy desks don’t know
much about grammer (sic) no more. That is, of course, if copy desks still exist
at The AP in LA and The Herald. Grammer (sic) is expensive, eh? Call it the
Copy Shuvelling Desk, eh?
* * *
News items that
report so-and-so “suffocated to death.” Suffocation is always fatal. If you
suffocates, you is dead. You don’t needs to write “to death.”
* * *
TV News Anchors who
report a “new” record blah blah blah. All records are “new.” If they is not
new, they is not a record. It’s like announcing – in the appropriately somber
anchor tones – that “‘wet’ rain fell in Dallas today.” But, gee, don’t them
anchors look good? Don’t they have a great set of pipes? Ted Baxter . . . I
loved you, sweetheart.
* * *
Randy, writing for Reuters, on April 11, 2006: “LONDON
(Reuters) – “An influx of fresh fund buying and geopolitical worries will most
likely push oil prices to new record highs soon, analysts said on Tuesday,
while the most bullish predicted prices to eventually climb to $100 (57 pounds)
a barrel.” New record; ugh! Copy Desk . . . hello?
* * *
Dumb-bell anchors
who pronounce it “nook-u-lar,” like other VIP personages we all know. How the hell
did he ever graduate from Harvard? Who wrote his papers?
* * *
Print bunnies,
especially Senior Political Reporters of The Toronto Sun, in the March 31,
2006, paper who write: “OTTAWA -- Toronto MP Michael Ignatieff says he'll
probably throw his hat in the ring for the Liberal Party leadership within
days.” The gal – and the copy desk – apparently don’t know you throw your hat
Into (repeat into) the ring. You walk Into (repeat into) a house.
If you walk in it, you’re already inside the place. How expensive could proper
grammer (sic) be?
* * *
Ignoramuses at Fox
Hate (allegedly News) who don’t know the president of Canada is, in fact, the
“Prime Minister” and the governors of our states are, in fact, “premiers.”
Their intellect matches that of the dumbbell in their Prime Minister’s
Residence on Pencilvania Street. Maybe they’re talking far down to the
audience. Un-fair, un-balanced and un-educated.
* * *
TV News Bunnies
(male or female) reporting the “media is this and that and blah blah blah . . . .”
The word media is plural. It is the plural form of medium which
is singular. TV Bunnies should say the “news media are going into the crapper blah blah blah blah
blah blah … .” But, hot dang, them bunnies looks and sounds good, doesn’t they?
* * *
* * *
News copy in which
the verb in a sentence don’t agree with the noun. Example: There’s (short form of there is; singular) many soldiers (plural) blah blah blah blah blah … .” Them
newsroom budgets has been cut down so much they doesn’t allow for grammer (sic)
correctin’ no more.
* * *
TV News Rabbits
(mature Bunnies) who report that starlet Mitzie Q. Bigbasooms is now dinging
up-and-coming-coming Rockhard Richmond (formerly Cuthbert Dubchofsky) who left
his wife Janeplane, and their three children, to starve in Backwash, Tennessee.
Miss Mitzie Q, by the way, continues to assert through her publicist that her
main talents are in fact naturally large and firm and they add considerably to
her on-camera presence. This rubbish gets higher ratings than serious news
reports of what politicians do with our tax money. Astonishing!
* * *
Three of the major
requirements of writing factual and complete news reports are polish, polish,
polish. That means time, time and more time which translate eventually into
money, money and more money. Newsroom staff and budget cuts mean less and less
polish.
A news medium with
any self-respect also has a copy desk at which experienced journalists cum copy
editors polish the reports and their grammer (sic). Some news media owners,
mostly broadcast, have no such respect or desk.
Another vital
requirement is time to dig up the full story. Journalism is – or was – an
activity of mostly making contacts. It was not typing. I’m told that nowadays,
in most newsrooms, a journalist who is not typing is seen as not working. News
consumers should be concerned.
(Comments added at the top as they occur to
me.)