No mention of makeup . . . My God!

The fifth paragraph of an early report on April 4, 2006, on the web site of The Globe and Mail under the headline “Throne Speech contains no surprises” said this about Governor-General Michaelle Jean:

Ms. Jean, dressed in a striking white dress with black piping, opened the first session of the country's 39th Parliament, opened the speech by saying she has had the honour of meeting people across Canada who ‘have found a home’ in Canada.”

I was indeed surprised. I was shocked, amazed, taken-aback, speechless, stunned and outraged. There was not a word – a word! – about whether Ms. Jean’s hairdo was correct, not a single mention of whether her foundation was the right shade or applied evenly, not to mention eyeliner, shoes, handbag – and all the other matters of vital importance to GnM readers.

Oh, that “black piping.” I have told “the little woman” to get herself some of that piping right away. Going out of the house without being properly piped is very bad fashion sense. It’s enough to reduce a man to tears.

We have troops dying in Afghanistan. Not mentioned before the piping. Tax cuts are being cancelled. Not mentioned. U.S. tourism to Canada may be cut by new American passport regulations. Not mentioned. But what’s really, really important in a story about the Throne Speech?

Ms. Jean was “dressed in a striking white dress with black piping.”