OTIS 1.3 Parody of Apollo 13 Written by Jack Hilkewich Copyright September 1, 1997
Part of the 1998 Television Season

FADE UP INT.- TV STUDIO NIGHT A lone TV sits amidst empty cameras in a Cable Studio. The TV is on and WE HEAR noises emanating from it. There are two host's of the "Elevator Show" and they are seated at a typical Cable set.     HOST 1 .... yes I believe it's a earlier version of what we now call the Boss Hayden. HOST 2 It has enormous capacity, payload coming in at around 3500 lbs. or 39 passengers. HOST 1 Today's ride will be a very exciting one as our celebrity guests will include.....     Fade out to a montage of several elevators and their inner workings, doors opening, buttons being pushed, etc. OPENING CREDITS EXT. McHILL BUILDING - DAY A group of 4 uniformed men smiling an waving to a crowd outside of the MacCallum-Hill building. JAMES is the only one who looks scared as he steals glances at the large building. KEVIN is full of smiles and confidence. FADE TO:     INT. McHILL ELEVATOR - DAY James is in the elevator with three other people, he looks a little white, sweat is pouring down his face. The elevator lurches a bit. This sends James into a panic, he starts screaming like a banshee, crying out for his mom, for the ride to stop, for barf bags. The others look at him with shame and disgust. As James begins to puke we DISSOLVE....     INT. JAMES' APARTMENT - DAY James is watching The "Elevator Show". On the show EVIL JAMES is the first one out of the elevator, he is SUPERED "Cmd. Evil James". The announcers are talking about him, CUT TO: TV SCREEN HOST 1 ....and the doors open.... and its Commander Evil James who make the historic first step on to the 22nd floor. HOST 2 He's a no nonsense type of commander, look at him go for those doughnuts.     Evil James races for the coffee and doughnut table. He gets there before any of the others. He pours a coffee and begins to stuff doughnuts down his throat. As one of the other passengers reaches for a doughnut, Evil James growls and throws scalding hot coffee in his face. Pandemonium breaks out. The passenger screaming in pain, people rushing all over, Evil James laughing, CUT TO:     INT. JAMES' APARTMENT - DAY James stares at the screen in a daze, he rewinds the tape and we hear the screaming all over again.

FADE OUT

TITLE OF FILM " OTIS 1.3 "

EXT. ROCA JACKS - DAY James and WENDY are sitting outside of the coffee shop enjoying a refreshing hot beverage.

JAMES They say the Otis 1.3 is the only one capable of reaching the 27th floor. You need a 1.3 when you're dealing with that kind of height.

Wendy is not really paying any attention to James, she seems very bored which is fine because James is not really paying any attention to her. He keeps blocking out the McHill building with his thumb as he sights his hand like a gun at the large building.

JAMES When we attempted McHill last year they had the wrong cable gauge...

CUT TO: VIDEO FOOTAGE OF JAMES FREAKING OUT AND PUKING.

JAMES (VO) ... caused the car to rock too violently, we were coming apart. I was the leader I had to make the call.... we aborted the mission at floor 8.... Damn those third world high tension cable suppliers, Damn them to HELL!! CUT TO:     EXT. ROCA JACKS - DAY

James is silent again. He keeps doing the thumb thing. Wendy is busy whispering to a good looking male. They keep glancing at James and laughing. She gives the guy the "Drooping Pinkie" sign and nods at James. They laugh. Her and the guy leave. James is mumbling to himself.

JAMES ... they say there's no better feeling on the face of the earth that comes close ... having a Boston Creme shoot its load down your throat as you bite into it 27 floors above the surface of this mighty fine planet. Soon, Boston Creme, soon.

INT. CABLE BOARDROOM - DAY The next 4 people to go up in the elevator are there, as well as a couple of suits. Kevin enters the boardroom.

KEVIN Please be seated. He begins to shuffle through some notes. James leans over to BRAD and whispers.

JAMES That's Kevin Allerdyce, he used to be on the front lines like us, traded it all in for a desk job. He was damn good too. James makes the " Drinking " motion, Brad nods.     CONTINUED: (CONTD.)     KEVIN Gentlemen, there is no easy way to say this so I'll be blunt. Tomorrow's show will be the last. (The room erupts in murmurs) That's right men, due to poor ratings the "Elevator Show" will be terminated.

EVIL JAMES This can't be!! I'm not scheduled to go this time! I must be allowed to go.

JAMES Yah shoulda' thought about that before you gave Holden a hot coffee facial.

EVIL JAMES What's that vomit boy? Did you say something? Hey, aren't we on the 2nd floor? Uh oh James, Better watch out. We're up pretty high. James looks a little uneasy

EVIL JAMES You look a little white, are you sure you're OK? Does the room seem to be spinning? Maybe the cable's the wrong gauge.

The room laughs . James grabs the edges of the table. He looks really ill, like he did in the elevator, like he's going to throw-up.

JAMES Duh..Du..Don't say..(URP) say that.. it was the wrong gauge, it was!!

KEVIN Kids! Behave, Dammit! Now let's go over the itinerary for tomorrow. FADE OUT     INT. JAMES' APARTMENT - MORNING James is wrapped up in a nightmare, tossing and turning. Images of him being sick and the other "Elvanauts" laughing at him race through his head. He wakes up with a scream. A little BOY dressed in pajamas comes running in.

BOY Daddy! Daddy! Are you alright?

JAMES I'm fine son, just a bad dream, that's all.

BOY What was it about?

JAMES Ahh it was nothing, I'm just excited about today's launch.

BOY Ohh man, are they still doing that crappy show?

JAMES Well Mr. Potty mouth, you just bought yourself a week of washing my car.

BOY Try and make me, lard ass.

JAMES (affectionately) You kids. You say the damnedest things.     BOY What an idiot.

JAMES Did I ever tell you what it's like to reach the apex of a high-rise after a tough launch, pulling close to .0056 g's? The boy just shakes his head in resignation

JAMES (continuing) Not many can handle it and most that can can't handle it well. There are so many things that can go wrong. If you hit the door close button a fraction of a second too soon, the door will hesitate and you'll lose precious time. The big Juicy Red Emergency Stop button , how many have fallen prey to its exotic charms? The apex... that's where most fatal mistakes are made, ANTICIPATION Dammit! That's the problem, anticipation. The aroma of the fresh brewed coffee permeates the capsule at about the 15th floor, the gentle nudge of gooey dough cooked in animal fat becomes a sledgehammer smashing down all the walls of resistance until you're a quivering pile of useless human flesh! Ohhhhhh...Crullers, Long Johns, Honey glazed day olds.

(shudders)

BOY What a Loser. The boy leaves. James continues to salivate over doughnuts. He gets a thought,

JAMES Hey! I don't have any kids. I'm not even married

FADE OUT       INT. CABLE LAB - DAY Kevin has assembled the Elvanauts and support crew.     KEVIN Well boys, this being our 13th show, I don't expect any real problems. We are like a well oiled machine. So I'm just going to run a abbreviated facts check.

He holds up a Elevator button pad. He points to the number 4.

KEVIN If I pushed this one... where would I end up?

Not many hands go up. Brad puts his up fast. KEVIN Patallas? BRAD Four, sir! KEVIN Good, Patallas. I knew that if you put your mind to it you'd do all right. BRAD I took your advice, sir. I quit my job to devote all my time to training. KEVIN Looks like it's paid off. Since your on a roll, what about this one?             CONTINUED: (CONTD)         He points to the number 4 again. BRAD (perplexed) Uh... twelve. Kevin looks up at the ceiling in defeat. KEVIN (to himself) Oh boy. KEVIN (continuing) That's OK Patallas, it was a trick question. How about you Warren? WARREN That would be twelve, sir. KEVIN James, what about you? JAMES Uhmm.. that would depend on the gauge of the cable, uh sir. KEVIN O'Brien, step up to the plate, take a swing. MIKE I thought the first guy would've got it so I didn't pay any attention to the question.     KEVIN God help us all. Evil James? They all look for Evil James but he is not there. KEVIN Would someone go and find him? Warren goes out to search CUT TO:     INT. LOCKER ROOM - DAY Evil James is just polishing off the last of four HEAVY BEAN BURRITO'S, grease and cheese smeared all over his face. Smiling he opens James' locker. He takes out a lunch box and puts the Burrito wrappers into it. He lets out an evil laugh as he closes the box and puts it back into the locker. The door opens to the locker room and in walks Warren. WARREN What are you laughing at? EVIL JAMES I wasn't laughing. WARREN Yes you were. EVIL JAMES No I wasn't!   WARREN I heard you loud and clear. Evil James looks trapped. He excitedly points at something behind Warren. EVIL JAMES Look!! Warren turns to see what he's pointing at. James quickly opens a locker and puts his head into it then closes the door as far as he can. Warren turns back around. WARREN I don't see anythi... James has his head in the locker. WARREN Hey! Evil James, where'd you go? Evil James? Warren shakes his head. He can't find him. Shrugging he leaves the room. FADE OUT:     INT. LUNCH ROOM - DAY All of the Elvanauts have just sat down to lunch with Kevin. They are all talking about the upcoming launch. BRAD I just hope that when we get to the top the Crullers will still have that just deep fried smell. MIKE Screw the Crullers, man. I'm going for a chocolate chip muffin, with butter. CONTINUED: (CONTD)     James is talking to Warren, who looks a little nervous. JAMES Just follow my lead and you'll do fine. WARREN OK, uh, I should keep the barf bags in my .. right pocket? JAMES That's right, makes for easier access when the turbulence hits. Evil James is eating his lunch and watching the others with contempt. He looks at James' lunch box on the floor, it's filled with Burrito wrappers. Nobody notices them. Evil James gives it a nudge with his foot. WARREN You know, I've been using elevators for years now but until you explained it to me, I never would've guessed that it was so dangerous. JAMES There aren't many who give the elevator it's due. The elevator's a cruel mistress, son. Treat her bad and she'll rain down fury on you like a mothball dipped in ketchup. Treat her like a queen and she may let you live to see another day, maybe. Warren looks scared.       Kevin notices Mike and Brad talking about doughnuts. KEVIN I remember being just like you. MIKE Excuse me sir? KEVIN I remember being just like you two. MIKE No, I heard you the first time. I just couldn't believe that you interrupted us. KEVIN Oh, I'm sorry. Please continue. MIKE Well there's no sense now, I forgot what I wanted to say. You might as well tell your little anecdote, I'm sure we'll be inspired by it. Kevin looks like he is going to cry. Evil James pushes the lunch box further into the center of the room with his foot. Still nobody notices it. He lets out a girlish scream that gets every one's attention. He points to the lunch box. EVIL JAMES Look!!     Everyone looks at the lunch box. Nothing but puzzled looks. KEVIN What? EVIL JAMES Look what's in the box! KEVIN Oh my God! Evil James smiles. KEVIN Is that a Pop Tart? EVIL JAMES No, you idiot, the wrappers! KEVIN Uh huh. EVIL JAMES Burrito wrappers? KEVIN Yeah? EVIL JAMES Bean Burritos? KEVIN Bean Burritos, yeah?     EVIL JAMES Beans, Elevators, small enclosed places? KEVIN Nope, zilch, nada. Evil James leans to whisper in Kevin's ear. Kevin gets a look of horror on his face. KEVIN James as of this moment you are scrubbed from the mission. Evil James will be taking your place. JAMES What? Why? KEVIN Look at your lunch box. JAMES Yeah? KEVIN The Burrito wrappers. JAMES Yeah? KEVIN Never mind, you are scrubbed. That's final! Evil James lets out an evil laugh. Warren leans over to him     WARREN There you go laughing again. EVIL JAMES I wasn't laughing. WARREN Yes you were, I just heard you. They continue to argue as WE SEE JAMES face begin to break down and cry. FADE OUT:     EXT. MCHILL BUILDING - DAY The four Elvanauts enter the building. INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY The room is buzzing with activity. KEVIN Commander Evil James, prepare for go/no go sequencing. EVIL JAMES ( VO) Roger that. KEVIN Door open? EVIL JAMES (VO) Check     KEVIN Door close? EVIL JAMES (VO) We seem to have a problem here. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY James is pushing the door open button furiously. There is panic in his voice. EVIL JAMES Abort! ABORT! The damn door won't close, for the love of God, ABORTTTT!!! Brad comes over and pushes the door close button. The doors slide shut. INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY EVIL JAMES (VO) Never mind. A GUY walks into Master Control with a small package and hands it to Kevin. He opens it. KEVIN Good, I thought she wouldn't get it done in time. A Control Nerd leans over to another one and whispers NERD 1 What's that? NERD 2 His wife knits him one every show.     CONTINUED: (CONTD)     Kevin pulls out a small JOCK STRAP. KEVIN Otis 1.3 is a GO! CUT TO: EXT. SASKPOWER FOUNTAIN - DAY James is drinking from a whisky bottle. He is quite drunk. He is staggering around and yelling stuff at the McHill building in the distance.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY KEVIN ...4....3....2....1....Engage! INT. ELEVATOR - DAY EVIL JAMES Engage! WARREN Uh what one should I hit? EVIL JAMES You mean to tell me you don't know which one to hit? WARREN Yes sir. EVIL JAMES Oh great! That's just great. What about you, O'Brien?     MIKE I wasn't really paying attention. EVIL JAMES Patallas? BRAD Yes sir? EVIL JAMES How do we go about engaging? BRAD Well.. uh sir.. each relationship is different, I believe that you have to become friends first before any long term commitment is undertaken. EVIL JAMES No you idiot! How do we launch this thing. BRAD That's what I was talking about. A voice comes over the speaker. KEVIN (VO) Otis 1.3 what's wrong? EVIL JAMES Nothing sir.     KEVIN Just press the up button. EVIL JAMES Roger that. Evil James pushes the up button. They start to go up. After a moment Evil James gets an evil smile on his face. He reaches over and pushes the big red juicy emergency stop button. The car slams to a halt. The guys scream.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY A buzzer goes off NERD 1 Kevin! We have detected a system failure! KEVIN Otis 1.3! Is everything all right? EVIL JAMES We seem to have a slight glitch. I'll see what I can do. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Evil James is just about peeing himself laughing. He pulls out the stop button. They continue on. EVIL JAMES I found a solution, everything A-OK.     INT. CONTROL ROOM - DAY KEVIN Good going Commander! There could be another citation in this for you. Keep it up.     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Evil James smiles again as he pushes the stop button.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY A buzzer goes off, again. NERD 1 Captain! System failure again!     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Evil James and the boys are killing themselves laughing. KEVIN(VO) Commander, is everything OK? EVIL JAMES I'm not sure. I'll try this one last thing, I hope it works. (laughing) KEVIN (VO) Our prayers are with you.   Evil James pulls out the stop button, they begin to rise again. KEVIN (VO) You did it! I was doubting the choice of you over James, but now I know I made the right decision. See you at the top. EVIL JAMES Roger that. Still smirking James reaches out and hits the stop button yet again. This time there is a real loud bang. Something is really wrong this time. INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY NERD 1 Sir! we're lit up light a Christmas tree. NERD 2 I've got no readings from any of the sensors at all. KEVIN Uh.. Otis 1.3? We have a problem. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Evil James looks scared. EVIL JAMES No we don't. KEVIN (VO) We have massive system failure across the board.     EVIL JAMES Everything is fine here sir. Nothing to worry about. KEVIN Sit tight! We have to evaluate the situation.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY A group of control room people are huddled around a computer screen. KEVIN Are you absolutely sure? NERD 1 As far as I can figure it out sir. KEVIN Commander Evil James do you copy? EVIL JAMES (VO) Go ahead Captain. KEVIN We've been doing some calculations. In order for you to reach the top we'll have to reduce your power to 1/3. EVIL JAMES (VO) What does that mean? KEVIN It means that you will have just enough power to get you to the top and straight back down. EVIL JAMES (VO) That's just fine sir. I'll let you know when I'm done my coffee and doughnuts so you can bring us home. KEVIN Negative on the Java and Nuts! I repeat there is only enough power get you to the top and straight back down. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Evil James is in a panic. EVIL JAMES What do you mean, no doughnuts? This is my last mission, I will not stand for this. KEVIN (VO) Listen, Evil one. If you so much as think about holding the elevator while you exit the car and gorge on doughnuts, the car will expend all of its' energy and you'll never see the ground again. Do you copy? Evil James is huddled in the corner crying. MIKE Yeah, hi. We copy. KEVIN We have to make some calculations regarding which button to push when you reach the top. Stay sharp and wait for it.     EXT. SASKPOWER FOUNTAIN - DAY James is standing on the edge of the fountain holding a big rock with a rope around it. The other end is looped around James' neck. He is about to throw it in the fountain. He is crying. His cell phone rings. JAMES Hello? (listening) Yeah, I'll accept the charges. WHAT!!! I'll be right there. He runs to his car holding the big heavy rock. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY The guys are sitting on the floor talking about the past, everyone is listening to Evil James describe how they are going to die. He talks about how, on every mission he's been on, someone has died. THIS MEANS AD LIB DIALOGUE     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY BULLIE enters mission control. An air of command follows him where ever he goes. BULLIE Allardyce! What in the hell is going on here? KEVIN It's Otis 1.3, she's in trouble. BULLIE What kind of trouble? KEVIN There's barely enough power to bring her back down, and we're having trouble calculating the proper button to be pushed at the apex sir. A nerd who was working feverishly on calculations in the back ground looks up in horror. NERD 1 Captain!! KEVIN What is it, Watson? NERD 1 If we don't figure a way to lighten their load by at least 27 lbs., they are going to slam into the bottom of the shaft at 300 miles per hour. BULLIE DAMMIT!! When are they going to stop building them so high??!!!     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY The guys are playing eye spy. Evil James is starting to feel the effects of the four big bean Burritos. He lets out small farts inconspicuously.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY NERD 2 They're coming up to the apex sir. KEVIN How close are we to finding which button to press? NERD 1 Uh.. I'll have to figure that out sir. Do you want that in seconds or minutes? KEVIN Forget it! Otis 1.3! Do you copy?     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY EVIL JAMES Go ahead. KEVIN (VO) You're coming up on the apex. We're still having trouble with the calculations. Stay tuned. EVIL JAMES The apex! Doughnuts!! I'm going to be eating me some of that deep fried fat. Oh boy, oh boy!     KEVIN (VO) What ever you do, don't leave the car. If you do, you'll never see the ground again. EVIL JAMES Hah hah, that Kevin, what a kidder. So you guys just you know stay put and I'll bring back doughnuts for all of us. MIKE He said to stay put. WARREN Yeah, I heard him. EVIL JAMES He drinks you know? Evil James waves everyone close and he whispers to them. He gives them the "drooping pinky" sign. They all nod in agreement.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY James walks in. He is still carrying the big rock. JAMES Kevin! What seems to be the problem here.   KEVIN James I'm glad you came. We've lost power, were down to 1/3, and were having trouble with the apex calculations, oh yeah, they're 27 lbs. too heavy. NERD 1 I've got it. They could take their clothes off! JAMES Good work, Nerd boy! I'll start on the weight problem in the simulator. James leaves. NERD 1 Twenty seconds to apex sir BULLIE What are we going to do, Captain? Kevin is sweating, panicking.     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Evil James is licking his lips in anticipation. The other guys are at his feet tying his laces together and sniggering. INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY Kevin is really lost for an answer. NERD 1 15 seconds CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN EVIL JAMES AND KEVIN NERD 1 10 seconds ... 5 seconds. Kevin's really freaked out. Bullie paces. NERD 1 Apex!!     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY The doors open and Evil James giggles like a school girl. The doughnuts and coffee are revealed. Evil James start out to get them and trips just outside the doors. The other guys are killing themselves laughing.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY Kevin is lost. NERD 1 3 seconds till doors close sir. What do we do? Kevin is shaking his head in resignation when a voice comes to him. BEN Kevin! Use the Force Kevin. Let go. Trust your feelings. KEVIN Ben? Is that you? BEN Use the Force Kevin. Feel it's energy all around you?   BEN (contd.) You must see the button within your minds eye.. you will/ (stops) Hold on Kevin. Luke! Use the Force. You must go to Dagobah, there you will find a Jedi master named Yoda, he will tea... Uh Kevin? This could take a awhile, just push the down button, see yah. (fading) ...he will teach you the ways of the Force.............. KEVIN Hit the DOWN BUTTON!!! Hit the DOWN BUTTON!!!     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Brad pushes the down button. The doors begin to close. They guys call for Evil James. He looks at the doughnuts and the back to the closing doors, then back to the doughnuts. He takes a step towards the doughnuts and stops. They guys are calling him back. He stares at the doughnuts for what seems like an eternity. With a great effort he returns back to the car just in time.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY They all cheer!     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY Evil James is pouting. The guys try and cheer him up. He lets out a big fart. INT. MASTER CONTROL Nerd 2 comes over to Kevin. NERD 2 I've just analyzed some data and.... KEVIN And what? NERD 2 The air up there is going bad. They have about 10 minutes of good air left. KEVIN What the hell is causing this? NERD 2 The data shows that the protein readings are off the chart. KEVIN Protein? What on earth could put enough protein in the air to make it go bad. NERD 2 Beans, sir. KEVIN Evil James!!! INT. SIMULATOR - DAY James is busy in a big cardboard box. He has a mock elevator button pad. He tries taking off his clothes in different order and dropping them on the floor. The scale doesn't move. He is frustrated. JAMES Damn!! NERD 3 We might as well give up. Its hopeless. JAMES I will not give up! NERD 3 It's almost lunch. JAMES Yeah, you're right, it's hopeless. Here, hold this. He hands the Nerd his tie and socks. The scale moves. NERD 3 Sir! The scale it moved! JAMES That's it. The weight has to be removed from the car. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY The guys are dopey from the gas. They are trying to sing a Christmas carol. INT. . MASTER CONTROL - DAY The guys standing in front of a table full of stuff from Love Plus.   KEVIN This is what they've got up there. We have to figure a way to stop the air from going bad using only what we have on this table.     They rummage around for a few seconds when one of the Nerds' holds up something, a NON-SKID BUTT PLUG. KEVIN That's it!     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY They guys are just about done for. KEVIN (VO) Mike, do you copy? Mike! Come in! Mike makes his way to the speaker. MIKE Go ahead. KEVIN (VO) Listen very carefully you don't have much time left. We've figured out how to stop the air from going bad. Lean closer. Kevin begins to whisper. Mike's eyes go wide and he looks over at Evil James.   INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY James enters the room at a run. JAMES They have to take their shirts off, and then put them outside the car. INT. ELEVATOR - DAY The guys are all smiling and breathing deeply of the fresh air, until WE GET to Evil James. He has a look of violation and ecstasy at the same time. KEVIN (VO) Otis 1.3. We have figured out how to make yourselves lighter. You must take off your shirts and put them outside your car. MIKE OK sir. I'll handle it. Evil James is in no shape to lead now. Alright listen up, everyone. Shirts off and hand them to me. Warren help Evil James. They take their shirts off and hand them to Mike. He reaches up to the ceiling.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY The guys are waiting for a confirmation. MIKE (VO) Captain Allardyce, situation under control. KEVIN That's great Mike. What did you do with the clothes.     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY     MIKE (proudly) I put them on the roof, sir! KEVIN (VO) Good work, Mike. There'll be a medal in it for you. Mike smiles smugly at all of the other guys. James is still in his happy place.     INT. MASTER CONTROL - DAY KEVIN Alright Mike. You guys will be hitting the third floor in 10 seconds. We'll lose you for about 2 minutes due to the thickness of the cement. If all goes as planned we'll pick you up on the first floor. MIKE (VO) See you on the other side, Captain. JAMES Good work in there Mike, I'm proud of you guys.
MIKE (VO) Just doing my job, sir. CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN MASTER CONTROL and ELEVATOR. Lots of turbulence in the elevator and in master control. They make it through. Master control erupts on pandemonium. Bullie cheers, people hug etc.     INT. ELEVATOR - DAY The guys are all hugging and cheering. The doors open. A huge crowd of office workers pile into the elevator pushing the guys back in.     INT. OUTSIDE ELEVATOR - DAY The crowd fills the elevator stranding the boys on it. The doors close and it goes back up.       THE END ALREADY