I thought I had it bad... But there's WORSE out there.

RON'S LUCK WITH WIMMIN

1986

Phone rings.

"Hey Ron, I like you, can I take you to a movie?"

"Woah, (name), I don't feel like going to a movie." CLICK.

1988

"Can we do something after the dance, Ron?"

"Na, I am going home. I am tired."

(Grade 8 grad last day of classes, never saw her again)

1989

"Hey (name) care to go to a movie?"

"How will we get there?"

"How about the bus?"

(Dam buses, and their stupid timetables, we could not find one to take us to the movie. I never bothered asking her out again because of me not having a car yet. By the time I did she was busy with another guy)

1989

In History class one day.

"Hey Ron, Will you marry me?"

"DUH, Umm, Can it wait? Besides, (name), Aren't I suppose to ask you?"

(She never talked to me again)

1990

"Hey Ron, Wanna double date with (so and so) this weekend?"

"Nope, I have a funeral to attend out of town"

1990

Me in my bed at UBC. My dorm room door open. (name) walks in and lays beside me. "Ron, will you walk me back to my room."

"No way, it is across campus, and I'm too tired"

1990

"Hey Ron, haven't you figured out that (name) likes you?"

"Really? She is a babe!" Considering I found out this after a 10 day trip to UBC, (not to be confused with the girl above) I found out in Swift Current on the bus drive home. Anyway I never called her in Manitoba, I was too cheap.

1990

Die Hard was on TV and the phone rings this chick wants me to come and get her (she lives in a small town outside on Regina) and take her to her friends party in the same town.

"(name), umm, sorry I can't I am watching Die Hard. Maybe another night"

(She never called again, but I did get a xmas card from her)

1992

"Ron, when are you going to ask me to the Gr12 Grad?"

"Ummmm, (name1) is going stag, and so is (name2). I guess I'll go stag too"

(I really hate myself for this one)

1992

I this happened during a PSYC class.

"(Name), I have an extra ticket to the work Xmas party, care to go?"

"Sorry, My Xmas party is the night before."

(What is this a no? I think she lied)

1993

"(name), I have this extra ticket to the work Xmas party wanna come with me?"

"Ron, I would rather stay home and wash my hair"

1996

"Ron, I Love your voice!"

(Went out with her and 3 months later)

"Sorry Ron, I am going out with a gas jockey now."

1996

"Ron, you could have come to my place, I only live a few blocks from work"

(She had a kid, and Ron did not want to be instant Father.

A couple of weeks later she was fired from work. Whew)

1996

Nearing the end of a long day at work.

"Hey Ron, you wanna go out on a date with me tonight?"

(Me thinking she was joking. Which I am sure she was).

"Uh, WHY?"

"You Just blew your chance."

1996

In Brief: I met a great girl on the Internet, We spent many hours chatting, and I made several visits down there. I fell in love.

End of 1997 she met some guy, and basically told me to F-off.

1997

A friend calls: "hey Ron, You never go home, we have the perfect girl for you, a Ten"

(Well too bad I was out of town that week.)

1998

Saw Titanic, It sucked.

After Movie, I was busy chatting away about the movie, when I caught this girl's eyes standing 10ft away.

She smiled and waved, I thought she must of been looking at some one behind me. So I turned around, Nothing but A Brick Wall.

OK, This would have been great but she was like 15-16.

1998

I had a blind date to a movie, she did not show.

1998

Tried to meet up this perfect girl for me.

The excuse: "No, I have a take home midterm"

1998

For space the following have been used on me this year:

"I have homework."

"I'm a lesbian."

"I'm engaged"

1998

Went on a Blind Coffee Date. We chatted for hours, Even got kicked out of the coffee house cause it got too late. So we stood outside and chatted for approx. 30mins.

I asked her if she wanted to go out for coffee again. I must have heard her wrong cause I never heard from her again.

1998

I ran into a girl from school, I asked her out for coffee.

She said sure, however she never showed.

1999

In case you didn't know, every year I try and get a date for the Work Xmas Party.

Well one of the guys I had worked with, said that he would dress up as a girl and be my date.

After giving up trying to find a date, I said he could have the ticket. And well, I could not get a hold of him to tell him.

1999

"So what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Err, Umm, ya, My House is burning down, I gotta go"

I watch as she slowly walks away.

2000

I was surfing the net one day, and I stumbled onto a personal ad. When I went to reply I found out it would cost me $40 to reply to the ad. So I took out an ad in the paper under People Finder. And well, I found her. Unfortunately she was nothing like her personal ad.

2000

"Want to go out for coffee some time?"

"No, I don't go out with strangers."

2001

I was surfing the net one day, and I stumbled onto a personal ad. It was actually a friend of a friend, I later found out. I replied and I got this back:

"Thanks for the reply, now don't email me again"

2001

I was busy working at home one day, when I went to answer two HOT girls were at the door, they introduced themselves and right away I figured out that they were Jehovah Witnesses. I said I had my religion, and for them to come and have a discussion. Normally, JWs want to do this, but they hesitated and said:

"Well, just take our WatchTower magazine"

I said no thanks and they quickly left.

These are true, but the wording may be changed because I can't remember and perhaps sound funnier this way. There are more but these are the more funnier/sad ones. If you feel that Ron has had enough trouble with his luck with wimmin and that perhaps you too may want to go out with Ron, then EMAIL captron@canada.com and he'll get the message to Ron.